Can't go to Uhelgoat today with my photos, not having protection from the rain, sold 6 in 2 days, stayed in bed, not a good sign. 29 months unemployed there's always a risk of depression, but as I'm constantly working on my photos there's not much risk of that. The big problem is the lack of money that sometimes prevents me from filling up my tank with petrol and taking to the road with my camera.
This year after having not gone out socially for two years I've decided that a pint or two now & again can do me good, then wake up the following day feeling guilty that the money could have been better spent, notwithstanding, I'm going to make a special effort to spend 3 days in Pontardawe for their now famous festival, I was there in 1979, this will definitely do me good, but I will undoubtedly wake up on the monday with a heavy conscience.
In september it will be my chance to be the Samaritan, I've had a call from Cymru/Wales to assist a girl in distress in the Algarve who's re-opening a bar but has no money; could I help out for 3 weeks; food, lodge & expenses paid, such as petrol to get down there, no wages, but a beach & good weather, I'm not 21 anymore, I'm 61 (in 5 days). I only came to Plouye for 2 weeks, so is destiny calling? My pub re-opening has been put back once more.
Before I woke up this morning I dreamt I was at a Cymdeithas yr Iaith festival, back in the old atmosphere meeting old friends, I was local organizer (cysylltwr) for the Merthyr area in I think 1977. In my dream I was writing out posters for my own festival in either Plouye or Merthyr; in Merthyr I used to organize functions for Plaid Cymru, and in Plouye I had the big pub hog roast every August. As I mentioned the other day I also, off my own bat, organized the first Welsh language rock concert in Merthyr at Rhydycar, Merthyr with Injaroc. Depression comes from circumstances suffocating you, taking away your belief that you have a reason to live, I still have many things on the horizon to look forward to, and it's been a while now since I've been sitting here stemming the tears, with no food in the fridge & no money in my pocket. Fe Gerddaf ymlaen.